just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
