im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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