Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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