wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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