Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
