do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
