HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize