I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
