I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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