who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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