just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
