Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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