6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
