Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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