I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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