All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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