Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
