Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize