My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My pussy is not your playground.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
