Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
