She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
