my cup is half full, half full of rum.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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