This girl is more easily done than said...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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