my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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