just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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