oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
