so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
