I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
