have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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