You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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