I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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