I have demons in me.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
