I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize