I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
