I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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