How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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