The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
