Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
