Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize