After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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