remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Found your dick twin last night
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
