Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
