Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
