I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
