used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
