I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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