I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize