i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
