I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
