As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
