Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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