U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
