awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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