We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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