I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
