I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize