"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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