Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
