Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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