just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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