Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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