..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
