I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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