I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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