A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
