Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
