Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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