i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
