sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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