try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
