the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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