your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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